Long Distance Relationship ADVICE!

Long distance relationships are NOT easy, it is nothing like the cute quotes about being in this situation AT ALL!

Me and my partner have been long distance for 8 months now and it has not been an easy ride. If you are starting a relationship with a distance I have some tips and tricks to make things easier!

I am currently 200 miles apart from my boyfriend and luckily we are able to see each other every weekend! This has not always been the case.

The first main foundation of a long distance relationship has to be trust. With any relationship wether that is long distance or they live around the corner from you, trust is very important! It can be a tricky one, but it can be even more difficult if you're far away from your partner. You wont be there when they go to events, seeing there friends etc. If you struggle with trust issues this will be a very hard barrier for you. Overtime it will get easier just hang in there, it takes time!

FACETIME/SKYPE! I spend most evenings snuggled up in bed talking to my partner on facetime. Its a like having a virtual sleepover! Make scheduled times for video calls to see how each others days have been, just have a catch up like you would if they were right there with you.

If you are lucky enough to be able to meet your partner, here is one for you. Take a piece of his/hers clothing! I have a tee from my boyfriend and I spray it with his aftershave so it smells just like him. I sleep better with it under my pillow so whenever I roll over at night, I get a lovely whiff of him! (If you are not in a position to meet, maybe your partner could post it to you!)

Patience is key with long distance love, hang on in there!

I will also be posting a post all about meeting your long distance partner for the first time!

I hope this has helped any of you!

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Rachel Emelii x

MY TOP 5 WAYS OF DEALING WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!

Depression & anxiety affects most of us, it may be you, a family member or a friend. Most of us have seen or felt the drastic impact depression can have.

As a depression & anxiety sufferer I deal with negative thoughts. Over the years I have learnt a few ways to deal with these & I wish to share them with whoever finds this little blog to try and help or make an impact on someone!

One: Make a happy box!
I found this a massive help. You could buy or find a gorgeous box and fill it up with happy memories (pictures, tickets from an event, letters from friends). I always put a stress ball into my box and squeeze it when you have anxious moments. If you are a self harmer you could put distractions in there such as play doh/ slime (keeping your hands busy), again a stress ball and an elastic band to do the old flicking on the wrist trick.

Two: Mindfulness.
This one has been proven to work by many people so you may of seen this one floating around the internet. Keeping your mind clear is a big part of dealing with mental health issues, at first it can be difficult and may sound impossible but after a few go's most people see a difference. Meditation is one of my favourite ways to reduce negative thoughts. I use apps such as CALM & HEADSPACE for guided meditation but if easier for you youtube have many videos of guided mediation.

Three: Art.
Well I am not saying you should try and become the next 'Banksy' or 'Picasso' but adult colouring books are a really good way to reduce any bad thoughts as your brain (and hands!) and very busy. If this isn't for you, you could paint, draw etc. Conveying your thoughts into art is a form of therapy some mental health professionals actually use in mental health hospitals for their patients and does receive rather good feedback.

Four: Clean, Clean, Clean!
This may sound odd but for me personally cleaning around the house disreacts me completely! I mean they do say organised house- organised mind! The smells of cleaning products can help certain people with their anxiety & you also get a sense of pride when seeing the finished product! If you live at home with parents organise your bedroom & have a clear out. Trust me on this one- get out the zoflora!


Five: Make time for YOU!
Make yourself feel good. Have a bubble bath (or use a lush bath bomb like I do!), put on a facemask, light a candle & watch Netflix. This usually makes me feel 10x better, take some time out of your day and look after yourself, you deserve it boo!


I hope these tips help you, whoever you may be! 
If you enjoyed this blog please comment/like!

FOR URGENT HELP

CALL - 116 123

Samaritans

Thankyou for reading! Rachel Emelii x

HOW TO TELL YOUR PARENTS- SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.

If you're reading this you are most likely having suicidal thoughts, First of all well done. Realising you need to tell somebody you're feeling this way is a big step, it takes time but things will get better.

HOW I TOLD MY PARENTS.
For me it was a very tricky situation, I was in an argument with my dad and we were screaming in each others faces blah blah blah. I then screamed That no one understands me and don't understand what was going through my head, I was having a panic attack at this point as I realised I need to tell them more than anything. They left my room and I continued to panic, Half an hour later my mum came into my room crying her eyes out, as was I. She asked me a few questions and then she asked 'Are you having suicidal thoughts, please be honest with me' I cried my eyes out and she got the hint, she hugged me tight and assured me everything was going to be okay. I was relieved she acted this way as I thought she would say I was over reacting.
 Since telling my mum I am on the waiting list for a councillor at CAHMS, Talk to a school councillor when i'm feeling down at school, Regular checks with my doctor to see if there are any meds I need.
 
I know my situation was different to most of yours but there ARE ways to tell them firstly I will explain why you should tell them.

You should tell you're parents as they can help you and give you a shoulder to cry on, they will stick by you regardless, they don't want to lose you and will do anything they possibly can to assure that they wont lose you.

WAYS TO TELL YOUR PARENTS.

Write a note explaining what is happening and why you're afraid to tell them face-to-face. Leave it somewhere only they will find it whitest you're sleeping or out the house, they will come and talk to you but its for you're own good.

Tell a friend. By telling a friend you are assuring them that you need help, she may contact you're parents and show concern for you or state you are struggling to tell you're parents.

Tell another family member. By doing this they will feel the need to tell you're parents as they will help just as much.

I hope this post has encouraged you to tell someone, no one deserves to suffer in silence, ESCPICALLY if you're thinking about ending your life.

Thank you for reading, Stay safe.
Rachel x

Dealing with Depression.

So today I've taken the day off school as my mood has been extremely low, I thought I'd do a mini post about how to deal with depression.
There are 3 things I think are the key points of to how to deal with this disorder, here they are.
Accept your illness.
Depression IS an illness, people may say 'Today I'm so depressed' but there is a humungous difference between having a bad day and being depressed. Don't be afraid to speak up about it, Your disorder makes you unique!

Don't suffer in silence.
This is a hard one. I know it's hard to speak up about what you're going through to family or friends, especially if its Major depression but there are many support groups out there. Councillors are there to help you and everything is confidential.

Seek help.
If you are reading this because you think you may have depression, make sure you see you're doctor and explain what is going on. This is a big step and it may upset you but it's good to be sure you have the illness than be unaware.